Revelado o código fonte do windows 95

Para os programadores de plantão se divertirem :D

[b:628338d5eb]Windows95 Source Code[/b:628338d5eb]

Warning: do not compile; unpredictable results
Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
Project: Version - Windows 95

Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE):

#include <nonsense.h
include <lies.h
include <spyware.h /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
include <process.h /* For the court of law */

define say(x) lie(x)
define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
define next_year soon
define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version

void main()
{
if (latest_window_versionone_month_old)
{
if (there_are_still_bugs)
market(bugfix);
if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
}
while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
{
make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in
lie.h */
if (rumours_grow_wilder)
make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
{
market_time=ripe;
say(´It will be ready in one month);
order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
vapourware=TRUE;
break;
}
}
switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
{
case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
say(´It will be ready in´, today+30_days,´ we´re just testing´);
break;
case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
say(´Yes it will work´);
ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
pretend(there_is_no_problem);
break;
case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
say(´It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to´
´ the 32 bits architecture´);
inform(INTEL, ´Pentium sales will rise skyhigh´);
inform(SAMSUNG, ´Start a new memorychip plant´
´´cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs´);
inform(QUANTUM, ´Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple´);
get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
break;
case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
say(´Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
everyone´);
register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
when(time_is_ripe)
{
arrest(journalist);
brainwash(journalist);
when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree)
{
order(journalist, ´write a nice objective article´);
release (journalist);
}
}
break;
}
while (vapourware)
{
introduction_date++; /* Delay */
if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
break;
say(´It will be ready in´,today+ONE_MONTH);
}
release(beta_version)
while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
{
bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
introduce(more_memory_requirements);
if (customers_report_installation_problems)
{
say(´that is a hardware problem, not a software problem´);
if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
{
ignore(customer);
order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, ´Keep an eye on this
bastard´);
}
}
if ( bills_bank_accountskyhigh && marriagetwo_years )
{
divorce(woman_that_was_beatifull_when_I_married_her);
wave(dollars, at_lusty_chicks);
marry(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
devirginize(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
if (boobies_start_to_hang)
dump(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
}
if (there_is_another_company)
{
steal(their_ideas);
accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
buy_out(other_company);
}
}
/* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all
angry at us */
order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);
laugh_at(everyone,
for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished
_version);
}

void bugfix(void)
{
charge (a_lot_of_money)
if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
say(´It is not a bugfix but a new version´);
if (still_complaints)
{
ignore(customer);
register(customer, big_Bill_book);
/* We´ll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
}
}