Como fazer o PHP entender função SQL

USE [vetorh_ponto]
GO
/****** Object:  UserDefinedFunction [dbo].[V_RELOGIO_PONTO]    Script Date: 06/12/2015 13:57:52 ******/
SET ANSI_NULLS ON
GO
SET QUOTED_IDENTIFIER ON
GO

ALTER FUNCTION [dbo].[V_RELOGIO_PONTO] (@TIPO CHAR(7))
returns @TABELA table
( CRACHA_1 INT, FUNCIONARIO VARCHAR(40), SETOR VARCHAR(60), DATA_ACESSO DATETIME, HORA_ACESSO time, 
  CATRACA varchar(60), CODIGO_EVENTO smallint, NOME_EVENTO VARCHAR(20), TOTAL INT                   )
AS
BEGIN
	DECLARE @CAFE_INI int, @CAFE_FIM int,
			@ALMOCO_INI int, @ALMOCO_FIM int,
			@JANTAR_INI int, @JANTAR_FIM int,
			@CEIA_INI int, @CEIA_FIM int,
			@INICIO DATETIME, @FIM DATETIME

	SET @CAFE_INI   = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_CAFE_INI') 
	SET @CAFE_FIM   = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_CAFE_FIM')
	SET @ALMOCO_INI = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_ALMOCO_INI')
	SET @ALMOCO_FIM = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_ALMOCO_FIM')
	SET @JANTAR_INI = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_JANTAR_INI')
	SET @JANTAR_FIM = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_JANTAR_FIM')
	SET @CEIA_INI   = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_CEIA_INI')
	SET @CEIA_FIM   = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor as INT) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_CEIA_FIM')
	SET @INICIO = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor AS datetime) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_DATA_INI') 
	SET @FIM    = (SELECT CAST(cnf_valor AS datetime) FROM AIS.APIS.DBO.T_CONFIG WHERE CNF_CAMPO = 'VETOR_DATA_FIM')


if @tipo = 'CAFE'
	INSERT @TABELA ([CRACHA_1],[FUNCIONARIO],[SETOR],[DATA_ACESSO],[HORA_ACESSO],[CATRACA],[CODIGO_EVENTO],[NOME_EVENTO])
	SELECT r038hch.numcad 'CRACHÁ_1', r034fun.nomfun 'FUNCIONARIO',r016orn.nomloc 'SETOR',r070acc.datacc 'DATA_ACESSO', right((convert(char(8), dateadd(second, r070acc.horacc, ''), 114)),5) 'HORA_ACESSO', r058rlg.desrlg 'CATRACA',r070acc.tipacc 'CODIGO_EVENTO',r070tac.desred 'NOME_EVENTO'
	FROM r070acc,r034fun,r070tac,r058rlg,r038hch,r038hlo,r016orn,r030emp WHERE r070acc.codplt = r058rlg.codplt AND r070acc.codrlg = r058rlg.codrlg AND r070tac.tipacc = r070acc.tipacc AND r034fun.numemp = r030emp.numemp AND r038hch.numemp = r030emp.numemp AND r038hlo.numemp = r030emp.numemp AND r038hlo.taborg = r016orn.taborg AND r038hlo.numloc = r016orn.numloc AND
	(r070acc.datacc between @INICIO and @FIM AND r070acc.horacc between @CAFE_INI and @CAFE_FIM)
	AND r038hch.numcra = r070acc.numcra AND (r038hch.datini < r070acc.datacc OR (r038hch.datini = r070acc.datacc AND r038hch.horini <= r070acc.horacc)) AND (r038hch.datfim = CONVERT(DATETIME,'1900/12/31',111) OR r038hch.datfim > r070acc.datacc OR (r038hch.datfim = r070acc.datacc AND r038hch.horfim >= r070acc.horacc)) AND r034fun.numemp = r038hch.numemp AND r034fun.tipcol = r038hch.tipcol AND r034fun.numcad = r038hch.numcad AND r034fun.numemp = r038hlo.numemp AND r034fun.tipcol = r038hlo.tipcol AND r034fun.numcad = r038hlo.numcad AND r038hlo.datalt = (SELECT MAX(datalt) FROM r038hlo a WHERE a.numemp = r034fun.numemp AND a.tipcol = r034fun.tipcol AND a.numcad = r034fun.numcad AND a.datalt <= r070acc.datacc) AND 0 = 0 ORDER BY 1 ASC,2 ASC,4 ASC